i have a branding.

did you know that? i have this so very hologrammic branding on the left side of my belly. if humans were rectangles, it would actually be on a different side of the shape than the side that my rectangular belly would be on. it's on my side.

i have completely forgotten about this branding. until last night when i happened to catch a glimpse in a mirror. oh yeah, i thought, that thing.

one day when i was seventeen years old, i said to my friend lola,hey. i think i'm due for a tattoo. and she said oh yeah? well, what would you get? and i thought and i thought and realized that i don't want any colors on my skin. i don't want any colors on my skin, i told her. what about just a black one?, she said. nope. black is a color. don't ever let some artist tell you otherwise, i said.

so we sit for a while. and then she says,well, what do you want? if it doesn't have any color, even black, what could it be? i told her i wanted a constellation. i don't remember if i had actually decided at that point. probably not. it was just the best thing to say.

oh, great, great!, she says. she leaves. promises to be back in less than two days.

less than two days later, lola comes back. she has a nail in her hand and she asks me if i have a candle. uh-huh, i say, what are we doing? she just asks me where i want the constellation.

now i have scorpius on my side. lola has been gone for a long time. she came back about two years ago to take pictures of my branding. i think it's what she does for a living now.

i was just thinking about it and how it's starting to fade. i don't seem to notice it any more really. i let that crazy put holes in me with a nail made caustic by a candle flame. but it turned out alright.

i think i need a touch-up.